In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
