at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
