Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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