is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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