It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
