I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
