there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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