hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
