porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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