Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
