No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
