What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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