I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
