I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
