Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
