never play flip cup with pint glasses
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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