I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
