cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize