So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
