your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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