We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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