dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize