IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
