I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she pinky promised me she was 18
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
