He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
