let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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