I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
