i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
