office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
All I want is dick and wine.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
