I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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