lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
