the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize