currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
