remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
