The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
