Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
