she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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