i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
