we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just want nice things and good sex
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize