I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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