I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
