I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
