Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
