very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Welp...herpes.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
