In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
