so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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