grandma shit on top of the toilet
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize