I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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