It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
