I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
