I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
