I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
birth control should be required to get into college
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
