hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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