My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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