I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize