Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
