mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i dont even know how to be here
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
