people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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